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The Hammanals! or, On the Road to Mykonos

Page history last edited by Michael 4 months, 3 weeks ago


The Mysterious Mauling at Hotel Tolling

Rescue at Selva Verde Ranch

The Hades Casino

Vegas Continued

Meeting the First Bargainer

Who's Next

I've Got A Little List


The Hammanals! or, On the Road to Mykonos


Our heroes decided that Scranton was closer to the New York BPRD base than San Francisco, and drove the sedated Jerry Ipcriss there.  As with Arwen in SF, he "should be kept sedated and locked up, in a faraday cage, with no phone privileges."  


The surveillance team has another report.  After reviewing all the footage they've collected so far from the mansion, they've come to some provisional conclusions:


  1.  The cook and two maids are normal humans, the others keep them in the dark.  They are not allowed downstairs.
  2.  The three short butler guys are extremely loyal to Vivian.  “The mistress is infallible, of course we’ll beat these interlopers.”
  3.  Emil is the most skeptical of the bunch, expressed in asking more questions and challenging Vivian’s orders.  Vivian raises her voice a few times, Emil always backs down.
  4.  Stan is the most gung-ho of the pit bosses.  He wants to hunt down “the interlopers” and kill them.
  5.  Randy wants to capture the interlopers, interrogate them, then probably kill them.
  6.  Lazlo wants to recruit the interlopers, if possible.
  7.  Peter wants to abandon Vegas, if the interlopers continue to thwart their plans with impunity.


The mythological research branch also came up with a new lead.  The Oceanids and Nymphs usually had a home in, or near, their respective body of water.  These were "hidden from the eyes of mortals."  Noting that several of the team don't exactly qualify as "mortal", it might be worth a trip to Mykonos.  After some discussion, our heroes agreed.


Mykonos sightseeing map | Mykonos, Mykonos greece, Greece vacation


Our heroes flew to Athens and requested the loan of a yacht, a naval officer to captain the boat, and a navy diving expert instructor from NSA Souda Bay, Crete. {NATO Base, Only place in Mediterranean Sea with a dock big enough for Aircraft Carriers}.


Not sure where to begin, our heroes also consulted a travel agency for advice: https://trip101.com/article/things-to-do-mykonos-greece


First, the team looked for giant invisible skyscrapers in Mykonos.  No such luck.



Needing a cover story so that they could move freely around the tourist-filled island, they hit upon an ingenious plan.  Based on the Spuds McKenzie commercials of 1987...




... they decided it would be very plausible for other beer companies to attempt advertising campaigns involving animal mascots.  Noting that the Aegean Sea is exceptionally blue, and that Hamms Beer slogan was "from the land of sky-blue waters" (and cultural appropriation)...




...The Hammanals were born!  


...instantly adopted by the group, and beloved by drunken Euro-Trash.


Crunch and Choopy are the new Hamms spokes-creatures, with the rest of the team playing their photographers, handlers and support crew.  Deciding on the Folklore museum as their first stop, a "no pets allowed" policy was defeated with the help of a few bribes.


There are tales of a sea nymph who was sighted in the vicinity of Delos, and at the Platis Gialos Beach. Most were subservient to the Olympic gods. She rescued sailors and gave boons to heroes. Also visited terrible curses on those who displease her.


The team spent the day going to the small museums, and have goat for lunch. After lunch they took the yacht around to the Platis Gialos beach.




Once there, they noticed a variety of off shore rocks. One is a big rock, with a sea cave and says “Vryxos” (Viv’s Name, also means "shallow") in hidden Greek Letters. Nick can see it without the magic rock, Neat-O only sees a flat rock face.


So we're basically fighting "Miami Beach"


They load up with gear. Gord has a tranq rifle, HP-35, magic dagger. There is an Octagonal chamber at the bottom of the cave, which is down a long twisting path.


Each of them heard a voice in their heads, in their native languages.  Neat-0 heard it in machine code.

“Mortals!  You must prove your worthiness to reach the realm of Vrixos!  Three tests you will face.  Your wits must be sharp.  Your strength mighty.  You must have the courage to face your fears!”


“Step forward to face the Sphinx and the test of wits, or flee now and never return!”


One of the team stepped forward, and none fled.  The gateway closes, a section of wall slides up, and a marble statue of a sphinx pads out.  It has glowing runes on its forehead and chest.  It sits down and asks a riddle to each person, except Neat-0.  It addresses one at a time, and the others cannot speak.  Pantomime and writing on diver slates is apparently allowed.




I have cities, but no houses.

I have mountains, but no trees.

I have rivers, but no fish.

What am I?



This belongs to you.

But everyone else uses it.

What is it?



First you eat me.

Then you are eaten.

What am I?

A FISHHOOK.  BAIT is also acceptable.  A TAPEWORM might have worked.


Say my name and I disappear.

What am I?



The gateway opens again.

“You have passed the test of wits!  Now you must wrestle the Nemean Lion!  Step forward to face the test of strength, or flee now and never return!”  (The Nemean Lion was the first of Hercules's labors.)


The test of strength:

A section of wall slides up.

Our heroes can see a statue of a lion, but it doesn’t do anything.

Approaching closer, they see that a leak dripped water on its head for hundreds of years, eroding some of the runes on its forehead.


Neat-0 waxes the floor, and our heroes manage to pull it out of its alcove.  Gordon tried to wrestle it first, but with a 98, hurt his back.  Crunch jumped on its head, and Neat-0 tipped it over.  It looked sad, somehow.  Neat-0 waxed the floor of the alcove, and the team shoved the lion back into place.


“You have passed the test of strength!  Now you must struggle with your deepest fears!  Step forward to face the test of courage, or flee now and never return!”


A section of wall slides up.  



A statue of Phobos zaps everyone with a POW 15 spell.  Nick and Choopy were overcome!  Each found themselves completely alone in the Octagonal room, with their greatest fear:


  • Choopy = the stretchy mummy.
  • Nic = the giant albino slug that broke his arm.


Choopy threw salt at Nick (thinking him to be the dreaded Aztec mummy that once swallowed him whole).  Nick shot his shotgun at Choopy, thinking him to be the giant slug that broke his arm, under Seattle.  Neat-0 and Crunch went to the statue, where Neat-0 applied hydrochloric acid and scrubbed at the runes.  See this clip of how marble reacts to hydrochloric acid: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atbO33YBn_E


Gord tries to grab Nick's shotgun, but fails.  The next round, the statue zapped again, catching Gord and Crunch as well.  Gordon saw the Wendigo, while Crunch saw a Cyber-Ape.  Gordon and Crunch figured out what was going on, and refrained from attacking each other.  Nick shot at Choopy again, luckily missing.  Choopy slingshotted Nick in the face with a ball of rock salt.  Neat-0 continued to scour the eyes of Phobos.


In round 3, Gord grabs Nick’s shotgun out of his hands, with a 09 vs Grapple (28), Martial Arts (33)! Gord choses not to shoot the Wendigo that is where Crunch and Neato were just moments ago.


Neato grabs a statue arm. Choopy throws salt at Nick, and hits him in the head. And then leaps and pours salt on Nick! Nick is discombobulated.

Neato keeps scrubbing! And erodes enough of the writing. It goes down.


"Congratulations Heroes!  You have faced your fears and triumphed!  You may now have your audience with Vrixos." 


Gord slightly misses his first aid roll.

Choopy takes pictures of the statues, and then Neat-O scrubs off the words.

Another door opens up, and a 20ft corridor opens up to a sumptuously appointed grotto. There are some Greek letters around the grotto, and a circle on the floor. Vivian’s name is among the things written on the grotto walls.

Nick and Gord take a sketch of the words and go up top side. We send the images of the inscriptions back to HQ.

Neato finds a golden crown.


Crunch decides to wire the grotto with explosives.  After a few hours, the team gets a translation of the letters around the ritual circle - they are a way to call, or summon, Vrixos back to her home.  Nick gets the phonetics for the spell.  The team discusses whether to summon Vivian here and blow the place up, to just blow the place up, or to do something else.


About then, the team gets a call from the Vegas surveillance team.  They play a video of Vivian standing in the living room alone, addressing a direction.  


“Hear me!  Interlopers, you vex me!  You invade my house, you slay my pets, you remove my prospects!  You seem intent on thwarting my great plan! 


I give you this chance to parley before I wage war upon you!  You clearly know my phone number.  You have 24 hours to call me.  It may yet be that our interests could align!  I swear by the Furies: Alecto, Megaera and Tisiphone, whose scourges even mighty Zeus did fear, that I shall speak truth for truth!”


Augustus’s sign reads, “Master Nic should talk to her!”  Nic’s special power of making binding-promises might bind her, even if her oath doesn’t.


The team adds several jerrycans of gasoline to the bomb plan.  Gordon goes for a massage for his aching back.  Much discussion ensues.  The team decides to call Vivian!


Putting her on speaker phone, with a second line to the surveillance team. Slate boards to pass notes in Nick. Nick has the incantation handy, and ready to use to show our ability to threaten her.

Viv answers the phone. Vivian Vrixos…We swear to trade truth for truth. She gives us the first question. We tell her that we want her to stop. Her goal is to establish her own realm of the afterlife, and intercept all souls who die in Vegas, and have them live in an afterlife of her creation. 

We ask about her ultimate aim in collecting souls in a new afterlife. She says that she seeks security, the world of men is under supernatural threat, and hell conquered hades millennia ago. Olympus has fallen and her brothers and sisters have succumbed. Hades is trapped under the city Greek hell. Hell, demons are cutting deals with humans,

She wants a realm of her own, out of notice, and in safety.  She asks about who Choopy and crunch are.

She needs the creatures that the prospects are powering up, and they must power up with human life.

She asks what our greatest strengths. Nick says mundane and supernatural capabilities. Gord adds we have world wide reach. Nick asks how many souls are needed for her plan. 65-80!

We negotiate a deal with Viv. At some point Gord opened a third line to BPRD HQ, to keep them up to speed on the negotiations.

Gord meditates and contacts Uncle Crab, who confirms that we are not beset by Furies, evil spirits, or bad juju. Gord does walk sideways and swim for quite some time.


When you are a celebrity, you can grab them by the goat.


The Hamminals spend most of a week on Mykonos, going to discos, restaurants, and parties.


"New Hades" - how about we call it "the Undisclosed Location"?












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